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On the Way Home

by Michael Channing

On the Way Home from Off Course by Michael Channing

over the railroad tracks through the graveyard
make a stop at hungry jack's for a pepsi and a snack
watching the sun sinking closer to its bed and in his head he calculates
how long can he delay can he stay gone all day
maybe stop for a smoke but they'll smell it on his clothes
then there'll be hell to pay but he’s damned either way
out here by the river in the woods or in his room
all roads lead to doom
cursed by his parents or his dreams
crushed by silence or by screams
everything is what it seems
he lights up a bud sits down in the dirt
figures if it has to hurt he’d rather hurt alone
it’s better than home

he screams to the trees i paid you all
you fucking owe me at least know me
worked myself half to death doing everything you asked
you said finish the task so now at last
i have one thing left to say as the blood drains
from the day
you won't like it i'll say it anyway
i like very few of you and i love even less
i know everything's a mess i fucked it up i confess
i don't know how to fix it or if it can be fixed
it's getting dark so let's be done
let's get it over quick
i’m tired of feeling sick of being
tired of feeling sick of being tired
of feeling sick of being tired of
feeling sick
i want you all to know
you all know i don’t want this
but this is all i have
and you have all of this

Trembling on a Rocky Ledge

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Chokes and Warbles
Now Available

Chokes and Warbles, a collection of essays and poems by Michael Channing

April 30, 2021