Journal of Fear and Hope

Do Over
January 13, 2019

There's a scene in City Slickers in which Billy Crystal's character comforts his brother who has just gotten divorce papers from his wife. He reminds his brother of the term they would use when their kickball landed on the roof: "do over." They would shout the phrase, and that wayward kick wouldn't count. "Your life is a do over," Billy Crystal says.

But it isn't that simple, is it? You can't erase the pain or the guilt you've accumulated over time. You can't unsay or undo the dumb or hurtful things you birthed into the world. But is there a way to carry it and not let it crush your spirit? Do you try to balance the harm you've caused and the harm you've suffered with some measure of goodness? Does a unit of pain and a unit of joy weigh the same?

Sorry for the harsh and heavy thoughts here at the start of the year. But it'll be all right. There are daffodils already sprouting in the yard, and my daughter tells the playground equipment she loves it. I fell better already.


--More Journal Entries--

"Too many flames with too much to burn, and life's only made of paper" --Ronnie James Dio

"Words are flowing out
Like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away
Across the universe" --John Lennon

"Bow to the paper Gods in a world that is paper thin
The fools in town are ruling now" --Duran Duran

"Here I sit writing on the paper
Trying to think of words you can't ignore"
--Alice in Chains

"Working for paper and for iron
Work for the right to keep my tie on
Working for paper and for iron
Work for the unicorn and lion" --XTC